Courtney
Emanuel:
During orientation on my first day
at BBTI, I should have paid attention to what the student handbook said about
courting. At the time, I was certain the rules would never be applicable to me.
I came to BBTI with the sole intention of focusing on getting all the training
and education in missions I could. Romance was the very least of my concerns.
_________________________________________________________
Courtney:
There was too much to do at BBTI
those last few weeks of school. As much as various people begged me to go to
the two-week survival course, I had already been gone all semester in India,
and I was happier to stay behind and do my job. When my friend Laura-Lee
returned, she had much to tell me of all the people there and the things they had
done. One night she
told me about one of the young men there, Emanuel. She told of his beliefs
concerning the gospel, the music he had shared, his love for reading and study,
and a little of his history being raised Amish. I found it fascinating, and so
rare to find a young man who seemed to believe much the same as we did.
She spoke of him some more over the
next few weeks that we were together, and the possibility of him coming to BBTI
(which I am always in support of). I even saw pictures and videos of everyone
from the survival course when we stayed with Tim (who had put the course
together). I remember Tim telling a friend of mine about what a great guy
Emanuel was, and that if they had been closer in age he’d say the two of them
should get together.
After a couple busy weeks of
traveling with Laura-Lee, I went home for the summer. Towards the end of my
stay home, it was confirmed to me who all would be coming to BBTI as students,
and that Emanuel would be one of them (and that his last name was Schrock).
____________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
I met Courtney on one of the first
days of school. My first thought was, “Ok, another girl. Big deal.” I dismissed
her from my mind, and kept minding my business.
Later that first week, I was in the
school classroom doing my homework one evening, and Courtney was there. We
chatted for a few minutes, and I decided she was an intelligent and okay
person. I didn’t think much of it however, and kept my eyes on what I thought
was the ball.
____________________________________________________________
 |
| After our first date. |
Courtney:
I vaguely remember being introduced
to Emanuel in the library one day soon after school started, but we didn’t talk
at all. He in particular I had little interaction with, though I did want to
get to know him. Yet, as much as I was curious to get to know him, I found him
to be a little intimidating at first. He never seemed much inclined to hang out
with people, never seemed to enjoy himself when he did, and was always slamming
doors whenever he came in or out of them (I eventually learned he was just
noisy). I thought perhaps he was often angry or upset somehow. Yet I still
wished to talk in depth with him about his beliefs. Tim and Laura-Lee had
seemed to get along with him alright.
I know at one point we had a brief
conversation about the Audacity video Ray Comfort did.
However, I don’t remember when this conversation was exactly. If it was during
that first week, it was the first time we had really spoken to each other.
It was definitely during that second
week that we had a few more interactions.
He had received a package from his
family back in Ohio, and that Tuesday evening, while I was waiting in the
library with Ariana to go to FBI class, he opened his package in the next room.
To my surprise—and really rather to my delight—he came into the library with a
molasses cookie for me out of his package. It was the first friendly gesture I
had seen from him, and I thought perhaps he was a friendly fellow after all.
Then later that week, he and Carlo (his roommate) both came to play games with
the Harris family and me. This was one of those times I wasn’t sure if he was
having fun or not, and he was definitely eager to leave when it was all over.
Still, it was fun to play him in checkers. I was glad it ended up being him and
me, and he seemed to enjoy himself a bit also.
___________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
The school classroom is largely at
fault for quite a few things. Often in the evenings I would take my books there
to do my homework, and somehow Courtney ended up being there as well on many
such occasions. About a month into the schoolyear, we were in the classroom
together, and we shared our stories of how we got saved. I was impressed by the
genuineness of her conversion, and her testimony of a changed life through
Christ. It was that evening that I decided that she was more than just an
average woman.
___________________________________________________________
Courtney:
Labor Day came. My brother-in-law
Kaylen had off from work, and he and my sister Brianna decided to come out to BBTI
for the day. It was Brianna and Kaylen’s first time out to the school that
year, and so their first time meeting a lot of the students. Brianna
immediately recognized Emanuel though. He and his brother Moses had come to
visit the school for a day the previous year. I had not put two-and-two
together, but when she told me this I did indeed remember seeing him and his
brother, though I had not spoken to them. So Emanuel and Brianna seemed to hit
it off really well.
Later, Brianna told me she and
Kaylen had spoken to a couple other friends of ours, and all four of them were
agreed that Emanuel and I would make a great couple. They all thought I liked
him, because of how I acted around him. Brianna said I was really happy
whenever I was with him, that both of us were “glowing” when we were together
earlier that morning. I denied my part, and really denied his.
I had not seen any apparent happiness on his part.
Throughout the several following
weeks I began to think about what my sister had said about Emanuel. I denied it
to myself, not understanding how I could be “glowing” around someone I barely
knew and was actually still a bit uncomfortable around. I reminded myself of
the circumstances¸ and told myself nothing could ever happen between Emanuel
and me.
About a month into school Emanuel
received another package from his family, and showed me some of the pictures of
his nieces and nephews. I could see we were definitely becoming friends, which
was nice. That Wednesday night I had left my computer in the schoolroom before
church, and went back afterwards to finish my work. Emanuel also came into the
schoolroom to do some work. Soon we got to talking. It was the first real and
in-depth conversation we had had. I asked him about his salvation and he told
me his testimony and some about his family. He asked about my salvation in
turn, and I gave him my testimony and a little about my family. We talked about
missions, and the trips he had been on, and few other things. He seemed as
great as everyone had said he was. He was no “cookie-cutter Baptist”, though I
pretty much already knew that. His understanding of the gospel was amazing. He
spoke of things I had only learned within the last couple years.
Eventually I went home…and thought
some more about what my sister had said.
“This is stupid!” I thought,
“Brianna put this idea in my head. This is why you should be careful with your
words! People throw random comments out there about a guy, and then I’m left to
struggle with such thoughts!” I couldn’t deny, though, that from quite near the
beginning, even despite his rough first impression, I was happy whenever I saw
him. But I didn’t know why, and so it seemed silly. I decided it was as simple
as good company and friendship, and no more. I prayed God would take these
thoughts and feelings from my mind.
It must have been some time later
that week or the next that I was sitting in the library alone at night, doing
some work. Someone came in the door down the hall, and soon Emanuel appeared
around the corner. He often hung out in the schoolhouse at night. We
immediately started chatting, talked about how he had gotten arrested in China,
and laughed about a lot of funny stuff. He sat down at the table and we watched
some funny videos, and he showed me a picture of his family. When I left, I
found an armadillo outside, and text him to come see it. After it ran off, I
went to my house and we texted some more. He named the armadillo “Patrick”
after one of the funny videos we watched. The following afternoon I walked into
the schoolhouse and he said, “Hey, Patrick!” and we had a good laugh
remembering the video.
_____________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
And so began a serious identity
crisis. Until that point, I had thoroughly enjoyed life as a single,
independent adult, and I was not willing to give up that liberty yet. While I
certainly had dreams of someday meeting a better half, looking for a wife was
not anywhere near on my things-to-do list. I had this lofty idea that God would
somehow use me and my singleness to do great things in the world, and it wasn’t
easy giving that up. As Courtney and I got to know each other, I suddenly
realized that I was being torn between two dreams: of doing great things for
God, and meeting the woman of my dreams (as if the two had to be separated).
The crisis was intense, and for weeks I was caught in a vicious battle between
the two. I spent hours searching for God’s will, and trying to figure out this
strange phenomenon. But, in spite of all my resolutions and my logical
reasoning, I found myself being drawn more and more to this woman who seemed to
have appeared out of nowhere. I knew I could not possibly avoid her, since we
would be spending the next nine months at the same school (she graduated two years
ago, and is now on staff). Part of me wanted to maintain my macho tough-guy
front and ignore her, but some other, more powerful part of me refused to let
me do that.
_____________________________________________________________
Courtney:
At the end of the month was the
lunar eclipse. I had long looked forward to it, having missed the last one
while I was in India. It was to be the last of the four “blood moons”, and I
was excited. After church, I ate lunch in the school kitchen and looked up all
the details. I was happy to see that this one was in the evening, and not early
morning. While I was sitting there, Emanuel came in the school through the
library. He walked down the hallway, poked his head in kitchen door and smiled
broadly at me for a good few seconds. My heart fluttered. It shouldn’t have.
I looked away saying, “The lunar
eclipse is tonight!” Not that I thought it mattered to him. Some time earlier
that month he had found me star gazing outside. He had asked if I “studied that
stuff” in such a tone as to make me think he didn’t care much for astronomy.
But surprisingly that Sunday he seemed a little interested and asked what time
the eclipse was. Soon after church that night it began. I text him that it was
commencing, thinking he would want to step outside his house and see it. To my
delighted surprise he text back, “Be right up!” It shouldn’t have made me so
happy, but it did. He didn’t have to come up. He could have stayed down with
the Schnell’s and watched it.
After that night, Emanuel seemed to
hang out less in the library. Yet, the following Sunday was the Pastor
Appreciation dinner, and he helped me set up a table outside and sat with me
and few other people. We got home about mid-afternoon, and I was surprised when
he text me and asked if I wanted to play chess with him in the schoolhouse. I
sure did! He brought popcorn and made coffee, and I set up the board. I taught
him how to play, and by the third game he was beating me. We talked quite a
bit, and looked at some pictures, and didn’t leave until close to church time.
I later learned he was supposed to have gone to the dairy that afternoon, but
had forgotten.
It was somewhere around this time
that I was praying about the whole situation, and was struck with a full
realization (or a full confession to myself really): “I like Emanuel.” However, with various obstacles to the relationship, and the fact that I didn't think he liked me anyway, I could only try my best to change my mind about Emanuel.
After that afternoon of chess, there
were no more friendly outreaches on his end. He seemed more distant, and that
was okay, because I was busy trying to stop thinking about him. I remember a
day hunting on the school property with one of the staff members who was also a
good friend. On our way back with our squirrel, he asked me if I liked Emanuel.
I responded that he was enjoyable to be around, and I wouldn’t run away if he
asked after me; however, I told him it wouldn't work out for various reasons and that I didn’t think he liked me. He seemed to agree with
all of it, and said that he didn’t think Emanuel wanted to
get married, based on some things he had said near the beginning of the year. I
wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed, or accept it in helping me get over him.
But I also thought to myself that Emanuel was not anti-relationships, he was
just a man with focus who knew his mind and wasn’t going to fawn over girls.
He’d find a girl someday.
_________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
Courtney won my affection simply by
being the woman I unconsciously dreamed of meeting someday. It started when I
realized that I was enjoying our conversations, and went out of my way to talk
to her. The school classroom suddenly became my favorite place to study. I
began to watch for the light in the classroom, which was a good indication that
she was there, and suddenly my house seemed to be an utterly unsuitable place
to study in. I also discovered that I was constantly checking my phone, hoping
there would be a text message from her. At first my undue interest disturbed
me, and I tried to fight it, but it was no use. The process was slow, but there
came a day when I knew that I would have no rest until I made some move toward
getting to know her better. Slowly, I began to let her into my life, and was
delighted when she took interest in the little things that held meaning to me.
I discovered that cookies and pictures of cute nephews and nieces from home can
be a wonderful asset. I was thrilled to see that she seemed to enjoy hearing
about past experiences I and my family went through. We shared favorite
stories, silly video clips, dreams, and hopes until suddenly I realized we had
built a camaraderie of understanding and interest. And the strange thing was, I
found that I was enjoying every minute of it.
Eventually the walls I thought I had
built crumbled, and I admitted to myself that I liked her. I liked her for who
she was, what she liked, what she did, and everything she stood for. However,
things were quite complicated, and I didn’t know if things would work out.
There were several other guys who I knew were interested in her, and had made
it clear to her. I didn't want to try anything until I knew she wasn't interested. Finally, I learned from a friend that she wasn't interested, and was still single. So, with feelings ranging between excitement and apprehension, I
embarked on what seemed a high-risk expedition of figuring out whether she was
remotely interested in me. Due to past experiences, I was determined to keep
feelings and emotions out of the picture until I knew how the land lay.
Judging from a series of past
occasions, I thought there was a possibility she might like me. We had done
enough things together, and had enough conversations together that I knew we
had common likes and interests. A culmination of moments shared together,
ranging from watching funny videos to making pear cider, to talking about
anything from missions to squirrel hunting, convinced me that she was certainly
comfortable around me, and seemed to enjoy all of the above. However, I didn’t
know whether to interpret that as cordial friendship or personal interest, so I
kept my distance.
________________________________________________________
Courtney:
Staying away from Emanuel and
attempting to stop thinking about him didn’t seem to work out really well. One
afternoon in particular I saw him near my house chopping up trees. He had been
riding in the grasslands most of the day, and so I was surprised to see him out
working as soon as he got back. I figured he must be tired. And, like Mama
often did when men were working on our property, I thought to offer him a
drink. I could have just taken something out to him like Mama always did for
the men, but I thought it better to text him. So I wrote up a text to ask if he
wanted some tea or water, but I hesitated to send it. “Don’t do it, Courtney.”
I told myself. Now was my time to ignore him. But….it was just the Southern
hospitable thing to do! I sent it. It was a long time before he responded to my
text, saying that he had left his phone in the truck and was done working now. That
was fine—I shouldn’t have sent it in the first place. This was God keeping me
in check, when I couldn’t keep myself in check.
Just a few minutes later, I was
sitting on my front steps talking to Ariana, when he pulled up to my house in
the work truck, a broad smile on his face. It was that same smile the day of
the lunar eclipse, and my heart sighed. The three of us chatted for a few
minutes until Ariana left, then him, and I went inside.
______________________________________________________
Emanuel:
The
Reception
Courtney has a sister and
brother-in-law not far from the school in Texas, named Brianna and Kaylen. In
October, they had a mini, belated wedding reception, and Courtney’s family came
in from Arkansas for the occasion. I was working at the shop on the evening
before the reception, when I checked my phone, and saw I had missed a text
message from Courtney thirty minutes earlier, asking me what I was doing that
evening. I told her, and asked why she asked. She said she had needed a ride to
her sister’s place to have supper with her family, but that she had her car now
and didn’t need a ride after all. I wanted to kick myself for not checking my
phone earlier. Then she said she hadn’t left yet, and I was welcome to come
along and meet her family. I wasn’t sure what to make of such an invitation,
but I wasn’t about to turn it down. It ended up being a wonderful evening, both
of spending time with Courtney on the road (with a chaperone of course), and
meeting her family at Kaylen and Brianna’s house.
____________________________________________________________
Courtney:
The night before my sister’s
reception was a Friday. My family was coming in, and we were all meeting up at
Brianna’s for dinner. However, the director of the school had taken my car to
get tires, and the other single girl Ruth had decided to stay home. It came
time to leave, and my car still wasn’t back, so I text Emanuel to ask what he
was doing tonight (right that minute). He didn’t respond for a while, during
which time Bro. Rex brought my car back and I began to leave for my sister’s.
As I was pulling out, I was stalled by Mrs. Margie who reminded me of some
things I was supposed to take to my sister. Then Emanuel text me back about the
cider press he was building. I told myself not to do it, but I invited him to
come along anyway and have dinner with my sister and Kaylen. So he left off
with his press and got ready while I gathered the things from Mrs. Margie and
arranged for Nathanael to come along with us. We arrived at my sister’s quite
late, but I thought we had a really good evening. Kaylen is very musical like
Emanuel, and so they’d play their instruments whenever they were together.
However, I knew that bringing him
along looked suspicious, and my parents really liked him and saw in him a very
eligible young man. I told them it would never happen, and not to try anything.
The next day, while preparing for
the reception, Mama kept making comments about Emanuel. I ignored her, and just
kept my eyes on the carrots I was chopping.
Over the next month several things
happened that I can’t remember the order of. Everything sort of ran together. I
think the first was that Emanuel still had to try out his cider press. I
thought that was the neatest thing—to build a cider press. He invited me to
come help try it out. I was curious to see it, and more than willing to come. I
remember when a young man had built his own telescope when I was a student. I
had also thought that was pretty awesome, but some of us single girls had not
been overly eager to go try it out with him lest he should think more of our
actions than any of us meant. So also this time I debated going down to try
Emanuel’s cider press with him, lest it should seem suspicious. Yet, I told
myself, I had gone to try the telescope once or twice,
Emanuel is my friend, and Nathanael will also be there. It’s a
cider press! Why would I miss out, especially when trying out such things is so
in keeping with my character? So after FBI class that Tuesday, I went down to
where he and Nathanael were. It was as awesome as I had expected, and a lot of
fun. I even got to do more than watch, as Nathanael and I helped grind the
pears for the press.
As much as I had set my mind against
Emanuel time and again, I just could never shake this idea that God was somehow
in on this. That “Emanuel and I” was kind of his idea. I was drawn to pray
about it, even when I told myself it was a no-go, even when I prayed God would
take my feelings away. One day I remember talking to God about it, and God
said, “You asked me why not the other
men who were interested in you, and I answered you. But you never asked me,
‘Why Emanuel?’”
I said, “Okay. Why Emanuel?”
God wasted no time. This was at the
end of the month and we went to visit Ms. Pam. She was what the Texans call a
“shut-in” (kind a horrid term to my ear). She was stuck at home due to
surgeries she’d had, and the guys had met her door-knocking. Finding her to be
a Christian, they decided to go back and visit with her to give her some
fellowship. So, Ariana, Nathanael, Carlo, Emanuel, and I all went on a Monday
night. We sang, prayed, and read scripture, and did quite a bit of talking. The
woman had had a rough time of it and was greatly discouraged. She upset herself
so much, I interrupted her to ask if I could pray. With her consent, I laid my
hands on her and prayed for her spirit—that she would know more of God’s
character, and for her body—that she would be healed. When I finished, Emanuel
brought up some scripture out of Romans and began to expound to her the pure
love of God even in our most trying times, and talk to her of how the gospel
applies to our Christian lives. I could see that his heart hurt for her, and
for her to know these things.
“That’s why.” I thought. “That’s why
Emanuel.”
My mind didn’t give over to the
idea, since there was still so much in the way. But I began to see more clearly
over the next little while how in-line we were on spiritual matters and the
gospel; and how he met the only three things I had ever required in a man: that
he be loving and compassionate, wise, and humble.
At some point Emanuel text me and
asked if I was going to go with a friend, Michael, to his sister’s wedding, or
if I was going to the missionary auction. I told him I didn’t know yet, and I
liked to think about things for a while. I asked him why he wanted to know, as
this was the second time he had asked me. I don’t remember what he all he had
said…something about being nosy. Either way he just brushed it off. I wondered
what he was thinking, and what he would be doing that weekend. He had mentioned
some different plans he had for the next few weekends. I wasn’t sure whether to
go to the wedding and be away for a week, or go to the missionary auction,
which I was pretty sure he was going to. But I couldn’t base my plans on him.
Some weeks later, when I finally
made my decision to go to the wedding, I text to tell him so. I told him that
it was to “satisfy his curiosity”, though really I just wanted to tell him. He
text back a sarcastic comment about being able to sleep better now. I hadn’t
expected that, but it didn’t matter to me. I told him he was the one who had
asked (more than once). He text back a few minutes later to apologize, and we
went on talking about other things. I myself was curious as to his plans, and
he told me he was going to the missionary auction. As excited as I was to go to
Ellen’s wedding, I was sorry I wouldn’t be going to the auction. It was great
fun, and Emanuel would be there. But that wasn’t supposed to matter to me.
A few days before I left for the
wedding I had made some squirrel soup. It had not turned out as good as it
normally does, but knowing Emanuel I thought he might like to try some, and I
would like to share it. I debated in myself for several minutes, with my phone
in hand, wondering if I should do this—telling myself I shouldn’t. But I
convinced myself that I would do this for any friend I knew liked squirrel (and
I would). So I text him and asked if he wanted to try it, and he said he sure
would. So that evening he came into the school kitchen where I was studying and
had some. I don’t know if he liked it or not (it was rather mediocre to me),
but it was nice to see him.
We left for the wedding on a
Thursday. Emanuel and I had been messaging on Facebook the night before, as we
had increasingly done, sharing songs, poems, sermons, and ideas. After I got
off work that morning, I finished up my packing and hurried to send him another
reply on Facebook with a neat wood-working idea and some funny songs. I
wouldn’t have internet for a while, so I didn’t want to leave without replying.
He also text me to ask what he should bring to the missionary auction. I told
him to employ one of the ideas he’d sent me a while back for carving swans out
of apples. I left some venison in the school fridge for him, since I figured he
was the only one around who would eat wild meat, and I didn’t want it to spoil
while I was gone. I waved good-bye to him as we pulled out, and then thought I
probably shouldn’t have done that. I never wanted to be a forward person, I
just was having little luck at controlling myself.
Throughout my trip we text each
other. One night we discussed going to the abortion clinic in Fort Worth to
pass out literature. After the missionary auction he sent me a picture of his
fruit platter. His apples were looking more like swans and less likes the ducks
everyone teased him about. He told me about how it all went, and how much
various items sold for. He had asked me during the auction if I wanted a coffee
basket, but I hadn’t gotten the message in time.
I prayed early on in the trip for
God to somehow give me confirmation about what was going through Emanuel’s
head. There wasn’t enough evidence to convict him of anything. Did he like me?
Was Michael right about him not wanting a girl at all? This couldn’t go on, so
I just needed to know what he was thinking. I felt as if God would give me the
answer I sought when I came back from Mississippi.
When I arrived back, I found in my
mailbox the plate and spices I left with the venison, as well as some Ukrainian
chocolates from Emanuel. He told me he had decided to stay around for
Thanksgiving and asked me what I would be doing. Up until recently I had been
planning to stay around as well, but had decided to go home with my sister and
brother-in-law. So I told him so. An idea immediately sprung up in my mind to
invite him to come with Kaylen, Brianna, and I to Arkansas for a fun, family
Thanksgiving. I couldn’t ask him myself though. So I decided to talk to Kaylen
later that day. We talked some more with Ruth, and had a great time until it
was time to go to work detail. Things somehow seemed different. For the first
time I had an idea that maybe he might like me.
When I went into the office Bro.
Rex, was doing work. We talked for a bit about my trip, and then I got up to
leave. But he stopped me with his characteristic mannerisms that he displays
when he has a secret to tell you.
He asked me, “If a young man was
interested in you, would you want to know about it?”
Since when had he asked to tell me
such things? I thought about it for a few seconds, almost said no, but then sat
down and drawled out a, “Sure…! Why not?”
So he proceeded to tell me about how
he had been in the washhouse at the same time as Emanuel one day that week, and
Emanuel had randomly asked what he thought about me. For whatever reason Bro.
Rex took that to mean something serious. So he joked with him at first about
how he thinks I have long, dark hair and am about yea-tall, etc… But then he
had proceeded to tell Emanuel not to do anything until he talked to my father
first. I told Bro. Rex that different people have different ideas. He says
Emanuel is interested in me, and Michael says he doesn’t like anybody… So I
could not be sure. Bro. Rex was pretty certain about his own idea though. I
made no move to dissuade him, or show that I was opposed. Bro. Rex could tell
that I like him back.
When I got out of the school
building and headed down toward the Nispels’ for…something, I text Kaylen to
tell him my idea of inviting Emanuel to come with us to Arkansas, and see if he
agreed. He agreed whole-heartedly and said he would ask for me.
I believe it was that weekend that
we had a game night, and Brianna and Kaylen came out. Ruth and I made
hamburgers for Hannah, Emanuel, and ourselves before everyone got there. Then
we all played games with the kids, and us older ones went to my house to watch
Hunger Games. When the movie was over, Kaylen and Emanuel were talking in the
kitchen and he asked him if he wanted to come to Arkansas with us for
Thanksgiving. Emanuel said he’d think about it.
_________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
Thanksgiving
in Arkansas
Some of us single students had a
party on Friday evening before Thanksgiving, and Kaylen and Brianna came to
join us for an evening of fun. Before they left, we were talking about our
Thanksgiving plans, when Kaylen said they were going to Arkansas to be with
Courtney and Brianna’s parents’ place, and I was welcome to come along. My
heart rate was strangely affected by that piece of information. I had known
that Courtney was going to Arkansas for Thanksgiving, and I knew I was going to
miss seeing her for almost a week, so this proposition was delightful. I told
him I would think about it, and would let him know.
The stress level of the next few
days was alarmingly high as I went through the process of deciding what to do
for Thanksgiving. The larger part of me saw this trip as an open opportunity to
get to know Courtney better, and spend time with her family. It would also be a
good way to tell whether or not Courtney was interested in anything beyond a
casual friendship. But there was another part of me that kept telling me this
was a point of no return; that if I went, Courtney (and a whole host of other
people) would know for sure that I was interested in her. I knew that once I
let her know how I felt about her, I couldn’t just back out and drop her if
later I decided I wasn’t interested after all. And at that point, part of me
was still hanging on to my old life as an independent adult, and I had a pretty
good feeling that if I went to Arkansas, I could very well end up losing that.
After talking it over with a few
friends, I decided I was ready to jump in with both feet. But I wasn’t sure how
Courtney felt about the whole thing, and I didn’t want to make it awkward for
her, since I knew people would make some pretty loud speculations. Finally I
sent her a text message asking her if it would be awkward for her if I went,
and told her I wouldn’t go if it would. Her response delighted me: “Well, I’d
like to see them speculate to my face!” She said it wouldn’t be awkward for her
at all. So, after a good deal of stressful speculation, I decided to go.
______________________________________________________________
Courtney
Over the next few days I heard
nothing, except from my sister. She said he had been talking to Kaylen, asking
if all of us were okay with him coming—if I was okay with it. I told them to
tell him we were all okay with it, and we didn’t mind people speculating
(since, you know, everyone had been doing that all semester anyway). I talked
quite a bit with my sister, as she reiterated to me once again (this might have
been the third or fourth time) that she thought Emanuel liked me. I told her it
didn’t matter until he told me so himself.
He eventually said he’d come, though
I can’t remember how or when I found out. I know he had text me himself to
confirm that I would be okay with it, and I was (duh! It was my idea!). So
Wednesday we all packed our things in Kaylen’s vehicle and headed out.
________________________________________________________________
Emanuel
The eight-hour drive to Arkansas was
a blast. I got to be in the inner circle of Courtney’s family, and I got to see
a little bit of who Courtney and her in-laws were in their natural environment.
We had a lot of fun, sharing our favorite music, and telling stories.
We arrived at her family’s place
around 1:00 am, and her parents were still up. I soon decided that my ideas
about Courtney and I were mild compared to theirs. They seemed to have pretty
much concluded that I was to be Courtney’s Prince Charming, and didn’t try very
hard to hide it. I was surprised in one way, but in another way, I didn’t mind
much, because at least I wouldn’t have any trouble getting their permission
should I… Well, you know, need it.
________________________________________________________________
Courtney:
We had a great Thanksgiving. The
only downside was how many comments Mama and Dad made to him, or in his
earshot, about being their son-in-law, joining the family, being in the family
pictures, etc… I know how to slough off the things Dad, and even Mom, say, but
I hoped it wasn’t making Emanuel uncomfortable. When I had imagined people
“speculating”, I hadn’t thought it would be such a bombardment from my parents.
I really enjoyed having him around though, and Titus (my three-year old
brother) really liked him.
On the day we left, before church,
Dad went outside to prepare his truck to leave. Emanuel went out to help him. I
had a funny feeling I knew why, and was hopeful. They sat out there talking for
quite some time. After they both came in, it wasn’t long before Dad took me
outside to tell me what they had talked about. Sure enough, he had asked Dad
about asking me out. Dad told me he didn’t like it, just because he had hoped I
wouldn’t get married, but that he knew it was God’s will for the two of us and
so he gave his consent.
We drove home, and had a pleasant
trip. At one point I was watching a video on his phone, when a message popped
up from a friend of his saying, “How’d it go?” I figured I knew what they were
talking about.
The next day was back to class. I
had no mail, but when I passed the boxes on break I had an envelope sitting in
mine. It was sealed, and I turned it over to see just my name on the front. I
knew who it was from, but I just had to open it up and see for sure. I ripped
it open with my finger, instead of cutting it with a knife like I usually do,
and looked at the end. It was Emanuel’s name. I did a fist pump and whispered a
“yes!”, then shoved it back in my box to await for later.
When class was over I took it home
and read it through twice. It was the most joyous thing I could read at that
point—the end of everything I had wondered about for so long. He told me the
short of all that had been going through his mind this semester, that he wanted
a relationship, that he didn’t want to presume anything about how I felt, and
so was asking me if I felt the same. I couldn’t wait to reply.
That day was above most days very
busy, and I had no time to write until late. After helping clean up the cookie
exchange a little bit and packing my things to go spend the night with Brianna,
I wrote out a hurried letter expressing the same back to him. I told him a bit
of what I had been thinking and praying, and that my answer was yes. I spent
the next day helping my sister after her gall bladder surgery, and came back
Tuesday night. I got on Facebook and saw a message from him the day before
asking me to wait a week to reply to his letter. Oops. I told him he could give
it back if he wanted, but he said no, he wasn’t giving that letter to anyone.
__________________________________________________________
Emanuel:
I was tired of not knowing for sure
where matters stood, so I wasted no time writing Courtney a letter when we got
back from Arkansas. I placed it in her mailbox Monday morning after we
returned, and she answered that same afternoon. I was a little tense as I
ripped it open. The tension changed into delight when I realized she had liked
me for a long time, and had been praying and waiting "to receive such a
letter as yours."
The rest is history. We went on our
first date that Friday evening, and discussed some of our major beliefs and
visions. It was a most delightful evening, and when it was over, we were
officially in a relationship.
_________________________________________________________________________
Christmas in Ohio
I invited Courtney to spend Christmas break with my family in Ohio, which is where we are currently at, until the end of break. It has been the honor and privilege of my life to spend time with Courtney, and have her around to meet my family and friends. I'm continuously blown away at the awesome wonder of seeing God do things that soar far beyond the realm of my imagination. Courtney and I both feel like God was arranging everything from the start, and we were just along for the ride. Jesus led us all the way, and our faith and trust in Him has been greatly increased.
___________________________________________________________
Because I had to know
On December 23, 2015, I took Courtney to a beautiful property owned by my former employer. As far as Courtney was concerned, we were only there to have some photos taken as a celebration of our courtship. But there, under a covered bridge, at a table for two, over a jug of chocolate milk, Courtney unscrambled a set of wooden blocks to form the words "Chocolate Milk". The back side of blocks formed the meaning of the code: "I Love You." (inside joke).
The last block had a question on it that would determine her and my future:
The last block had a question on it that would determine her and my future:
 |
| She checked Yes. |
Sheer surprise:
_________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________
Why so fast?
I'm sure many of you are as surprised as Courtney was, and may be thinking something along the lines of: "Didn't they just start dating less than a month ago?"
I have several answers:
- Although we have been in an "official" relationship for less than a month, we have known each other, and been around each other at the school almost every day for the past four months. During that time, we had plenty of opportunities to get to know each other.
- Just because we're engaged does not mean we are getting married right away. We have not decided on a date yet, but we're thinking of a summer or early fall wedding. Being engaged makes it much more convenient and helpful to plan our lives after school ends in May.
________________________________________________________________________________
What's next?
School picks back up on January 4. We have finished Phonetics and Culture, and have started Phonemics and Introductory NT Greek, which we will be picking back up when we get back in school after New Years. Graduation is scheduled for May, 2016.
How you can pray:
- For Courtney and I to sense God's direction for our future:
- A place to serve
- What preparatory steps to take for ministry
- For us to conduct ourselves in a manner that honors God during the months ahead.
- For skill and wisdom to use the increasingly limited time to invest in a relationship, on top of my studies.
